The ROYFAM Story

 Monday was Jean's birthday.  Full of emotions and indecision about what to do to celebrate him.  I decided to keep it normal.  His favorite meal for dinner and one of the only times he would partake in sweets was on birthdays (besides his love for @theblushinghen bakery stand/Tracie's chocolate chip cookies).  Got his favorite Alfred Tracks ice cream from Shaker Pond Ice Cream to share with the kids.  No song, just steak tips, roasted potatoes, asparagus followed by the treat.  I miss him so much! Thursday made 8 weeks since his passing.  How is it even possible....time goes on...etc etc. you know what Im saying!  I sold his boat that day, no surprise, I cried again.  Kids talked me into a burger for dinner at a local spot after the sale and I was glad to get out.  Saw some familiar faces and didn't cry until I was back in the car for home.  It’s the quiet times that my head screams the memories and I honestly can't believe th...

 The days will pass and its over a month before you know it.  I've had some hard days and I've had some days I feel so loved its easier to carry on but I wouldn't erase the love we had for these hard days! It's 4:51am as I write this.  I woke over an hour ago from my sleep with my brain rushing with thoughts of things I still need to do.  Its a never ending list in my brain.  Can't shut it down and really, don't want to.  It gives me a needed and wanted feeling and right now, things are just a little lonely sometimes.  My kids give me so much strength.  I have always told them with life comes death.  Didn't expect I would get more than my fair share of unexpected loss so close to my heart: my dad, my sister-in-law, my own battle with cancer and my soulmate.   I could wallow, walk around sad and depressed all the time but life means more to me now than ever....leaving me to think, did all the loss teach me anything about my own life....