79 days....

Yep, 79 days...just over two months...I ask Chat GPT all the time because I find the days feel like one long one sometimes and when I am in the mood to ask how many days, I don't even have the mental capacity to look for myself.  Im grateful for computers I can just ask....I do know when its the weekend though...I hate it!  Weekends used to be for family, for rest and hanging together and now I hate them.  I fill the week with busy work.  Gardening, groceries, yardwork, reinventing my gardening and yardwork...then Friday rolls around and my head goes into the clouds.  I miss my constant date.  Not gonna lie, sitting here at 11:00pm on a Saturday night I just hate being alone.  Quiet house, nothing good on tv and hanging onto any and all messages from people reaching out to me but feeling bad I'm such a bummer so I try to close the conversation so I don't sound pathetic.  

I know people understand.  I get invited to do things but sometimes I just can't.  I'm sorry.  If you're going to get upset if I tell you I can't make it, please don't ask me.  You know I'm not normally one to fall back...I just need the flexibility to feel shitty and not want to spread the mood.  I am incredibly grateful for all the invitations.  I do say yes a lot and I know I need to get out there...but its only been 79 days.  

He was my best friend........this loss is huge to me.



 


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