Looks are NOT everything and Makeup covers a multitude of _________ :)
I have to finish this bookwork for taxes.
I now need to secure insurance for Jean and me...again...long story.
I have sessions to edit.
I need to clean and vacuum the house again.
My laundry is waiting....SQUIRREL! Need to update the peeps!
He's doing pretty good! Driving, yes. My chauffer mostly but he does venture to Hannaford, Home Depot, Dunkin Donuts (remember everyday at 8am), Aroma's and other local jaunts for a list of items. Its funny to write that...another ah-ha moment! Marleigh's graduation party last June. Jean was wandering aimlessly most of the morning as the rest of us scurried around prepping. I asked him to prepare the drinks in a cooler, get ice and a few cases of soda. He wandered and I was fuming! One hour before the party I asked him when he planned to get the ice and drinks...he looked at me wondering. His reply (a cover-up) was I need a list! I told him that Marleigh had texted it to him..."oh, I didn't know". About 15 minutes later I find him sitting in his truck converting the texted list to print and I was so stressed about the timing I asked what he was doing....but now, it all makes sense! He doesn't read too much anymore. He looks at the photos but the text on his phone is too much for him.
People see him in photos he's smiling and doesn't have as lost of a look as he did before the New Year vacation in the ICU. He's got some of "him" back and its so great! The missing smile was so hard to bear. Sitting at a visit with his mom just before he was hospitalized (his mom in an assisted living facility with her own Alzheimer/Dementia battle) we were trying to have conversation but she talks more French now than English, no matter how many times I say "ne parle français" I she just keeps on looking at me and chattering away. She's so darned cute I could watch her all day and just nod my head but this time, shit got real. She looked at Jean, his smile was gone, he didn't say much, just rocked in the chair. She stared at him a minute and as English as me, she said "what's wrong with him?" I had started to video tape the conversation because she asked him about work and he answered her very short words. My reply was teary and delayed a bit, we didn't want to scare her with details, but I couldn't lie "We are trying to figure it all out. He is seeing some doctors." She said "does he have that sickness?" I felt so bad....he had NO expression, she asked him more questions in French...and one in English "did someone hurt you". She's just the most beautiful person it was so painful to see her sad for her son. I couldn't help but cry.
He looks great, is thinner for sure but his breathing is troublesome. Last night he didn't sleep great and I had already called the healthcare that handles his BiPAP to ask if they had received the changes the doctor was requesting....so he will come on Tuesday to adjust and we will see how tonight goes. Im sitting in the dark typing and listening to him breathing through his mask. Im so grateful for it.
This afternoon some of his old work friends gathered locally knowing we would be there. It was so amazing to chat with some of them who were shocked he had left work under such crazy circumstances. There was a lot of closure and we all left feeling peace. Jean did great talking and catching up but when he was done, he was done and ready to go home. We were approaching the 6:00 hour and he knows Branden comes home for dinner and even though we snacked on appetizers, he announced he need to go home for dinner. His day happens in time increments. Awake by 6:30, breakfast by 7:30, dunkins at 8:00, etc. I feel so bad for how much he misses work but he really can't do anything...he doesn't have the lung capacity for much. So as great as he looks, he's fading slowly. :( Thanks to all those people who made the time to come out today, it meant a lot to both Jean and me. I wish I could say he chatted the entire ride home about this one and that one like he normally would but silence took over the airways in the truck. And please, I know some of you don't know what to say sometimes but seriously...this girl likes to chat and I promise it wont be weird! You can truly say anything around him and he will laugh or be in his own thoughts. Also, he does remember you, he is just not great at conversation anymore. More than anything....this is why I wanted to be the one to tell the story of what's going on over here. If you see him out and he seems confused, call me...he has his phone and my number is on it but you can also Google ME! I know the day will come so I just want to say it now.
Off to bed, he's starting to talk in his sleep and I fall asleep trying to guess what he's saying! My own book on tape of sorts!
Peace and love,
~Kel~
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